A Fall Meditation

How freely the trees give up their leaves. Leaves that they have nurtured since spring. I wonder if it’s difficult for them. I wonder if they miss them or if when they were still one, they had embraced them so fully that what they let go of in the fall are only the shells of what was.

These are my thoughts as I walk through the streets of Bratislava, now covered in a thick dense fog. I take in all that I had missed about the season - the fiery colours of the leaves, the soft rain, and how the grey clouds make the colours seem brighter.

I wrap my shawl tighter around my body. I think of Fener and the difficulties associated with shadow work - especially those connected with shedding our identities as we go through the process of healing.

The problem I'm struggling with the most right now is no longer being sure of the answers which has made it difficult for me to self-identify with any role in the world 100%.

At the same time, I think this is still part of the journey of healing from trauma. That once we do the work, we need to give ourselves time to not know, not rush, not assume and instead trust the process of being ourselves without the labels and answers and assumptions about who we should be.

*Photograph taken outside my apartment . I love the spiral design of the shell.