For about two weeks, I’ve been struggling to write the blog post I had planned to write. I wrote it, then erased it. I rewrote it and then ditched it. I fought with it and then gave up. Why? Because I realised it said nothing I wanted to say.
It was meant to be a life update about our move to The Netherlands, what we’ve been up to, and the places we’ve visited but it read like a list of facts. No soul. No magic. No depth. No wisdom. No, me.
I’ve been struggling with my writing a lot lately. And now I know why. I’m not writing about the things I care about. Instead, I’m writing about things that I think I should be writing about because I assume that’s what people expect. Because I’m afraid that if I follow my intuition and free my voice, I’ll find myself alone. Sad and overly simplified – but I think you get the point.
I know that if I just keep writing for the sake of writing and not writing about what is meaningful to me, I’ll be adding more noise to a noisy world. I don’t want that. You don’t want that. And, it would do nothing to help me heal the inner fragmentation I feel.
The fragmentation is natural. After a long period of hustle, trying to make our move possible, things were bound to be neglected and self-care is usually the first thing to go but it eventually catches up with you.
To reset the balance, to stop adding to the noise, and to feel more aligned with my inner values, I’ve decided to dedicate the next twelve months to tapping into flow.
What is flow?
Flow to me is the feeling of being in tune with yourself and the world around you. It is something abstract and dynamic. We cultivate space for it to happen when what we do and say aligns with our innermost values. When, instead of blindly giving into societal linear thinking, we opt to build routines (or cycles) into our lives that sustain our mental, emotional and physical health. It encourages balance and being present in the moment. It’s a lifestyle you cultivate that aligns with who you truly are. My flow may be different from yours but we both know when we are in our flow and when we are not. For example, If I neglect my inner values, I begin to feel fragmented but for you, it may feel like something else.
Why is flow important?
Because I think it allows us to experience and become our authentic selves – what we are without all the ‘stuff’. In Living in Flow, Sky Nelson Isaacs defines the authentic self as the self you would be if there were no other factors persuading you to be different. The self that emerges as you discover your habitual fears – called ‘ego fears’- and unchoose them.
The tools I’m using to tap into flow:
Because they contain the wisdom of nature and cyclical living. I believe that each season is a teacher that can deepen our relationship with the circle and help us find our place within it.
Because I’ve always been a highly intuitive person. It was only as I entered the later stages of adulthood and life became complicated that I began to neglect that part of myself. But when I let the noise die down, I can still hear it and I want to reconnect with it.
Because curiosity allows us to suspend our assumptions and our disbelief. It is the doorway to remaining open to ourselves, to others and the world around us so that we can continue to grow.
Because writing is not only a tool for sharing our thoughts with others but also for personal reflection, consolidation, transformation and grounding. We can use it to journal, write articles, blog posts or poetry to share with others or only ourselves.
My hope is that using these tools to tap into flow will help me reset the balance in my life and make me more wholeheartedly present in my life, in my writing and in my community, helping me to heal the fragmentation.
*Image credits go to Elizabeth Gartside